The Waterloo Track and Field Club
The Secret to a Long Life

This old gal was sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said,'You look really happy! What is your secret for a long, happy life?'

'I smoke ten stogies a day,' she said, 'and before I go to bed I smoke a big joint; I've eaten junk food all my life, and I put away a fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends I pop pills, and I never exercise.'

'Absolutely amazing,' I replied. 'How old are you?'